Today young people have free access to all kinds of information and are more aware of this delicate topic than we can only imagine. What today’s teenagers know about, does not even come close to what was available to their parents and, moreover, to the elderly. If one of the parents decides to talk about this uncomfortable topic, they are horrified by how enlightened their children are in this area.
Do we need to talk about this in the church? Of course, due to denominational differences, orders, statutes, rules, and concepts of your conscience instilled in you since your childhood, and you feel uncomfortable or even unacceptable to discuss this matter. In some Christian circles it is even forbidden to talk about it. As a rule, those who are most opposed to such a topic are often suffering in this area of life themselves. But if the Church does not take the right position and does not teach about intimate relationships, becoming a sound example to follow, then sooner or later representatives of the future generation will learn about this from friends who don’t know God, television or the Internet. First and foremost, we, as parents, are given the responsibility to instruct our children on how to deal with this topic in holiness. By neglecting this, we risk losing our children and will be guilty of their eternal perdition. The Scriptures clearly show that the Lord speaks on this topic quite seriously, comparing the relationship of husband and wife with Himself and the Church as His Bride.
Of course, parents would not want to talk about it, because they think that it can somehow morally defile and harm you, and they do it with the best intentions. However, they do not know about those hidden and secret sins that only you know about. And you are unlikely to expose them, because you do not want to upset your parents and grieve their heart. On top of that, you do not know what their reaction will be like. After all, it is this topic that sometimes makes spouses, who have already been married for years, hide a grudge against each other. But you and I know exactly what you are struggling with, what is tormenting your souls and what your schools, friends, modern music, television and the Internet teach you. And gradually you become dependent on these views. They are stealing your hearts away.
I am sure you will agree that today there are many Satan’s traps on the path of young people’s lives. It is better for him that you remain ignorant in these matters, since, in this case, it is easier for him to deceive your naive and trusting hearts. Indeed, during the flowering years, the blood is much hotter, hormones are like a roller coaster, and the desires of the flesh sometimes speak louder than your conscience. Very often you find yourself in companies where you encounter serious temptations, especially when studying or working away from your parents’ home. When we are young, we are so eager to live on our own. But, having gained independence, we are faced with numerous temptations that we were not taught to combat or respond to either in the family or in the church, and as a result we become very vulnerable and an easy prey for the enemy of human souls.
Another trait of youth is self-confidence, and the reason for this is a lack of life experience. This is why it is easier for you to make mistakes than as an adult. A mature person weighs the options, and only then makes decisions. Life experience is acquired through trials, deprivation, disappointments, sorrows and sufferings. Basically, you have to pay the price to learn something. During this time, it is easy to shipwreck your faith when it is challenged by secular professors and those around you. Only a wise young man or girl can make close friends with brothers and sisters who are deeply loving God. The unwise, on the other hand, easily build trusting relationships with those whose lives are under the influence of the prince of darkness. And instead of winning those souls for Christ, while being careful and cautious, such young people quickly move into such a friendship stage where they easily open their hearts without thinking about the consequences. But the devil is cunning and knows that now he can use your naivety for his own purposes to influence your mind, staining it with his lies and deceit.
Youth is a beautiful time but very risky. At this time, a young person chooses either the path with the Lord or without Him. They have to be determined and rooted in their faith.
Some young people cry and say, “I can’t get rid of self-gratification (or masturbation), pornography has become worse for me than drug addiction or even sex. I am always angry, impatient and unable to forgive. I lie, I am a hypocrite and full of hatred. I have been going to church for many years, trying to somehow fight this sin, but nothing changes, I am still the same.”
The book of Proverbs calls us to responsible ministry in chapter 24 verse 11, “Deliver those who are drawn toward death (Rescue those who are being taken away to death), and hold back those stumbling to the slaughter.”
Today I also want to encourage and ask both parents and ministers, “Have you become counselors in your families and churches? Do you care that your children and church members are being led to destruction? Will you really give up and turn away from them?” No one else, but we need to warn about mistakes that are easy to make, but very often hard, and sometimes even impossible to fix. After all, the Bible also teaches us, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) Did you know that even secular psychologists acknowledge the fact that the first stage of building a parent-child relationship occurs in the first three years of its life? It is interesting that in the Jewish tradition, parents, and especially fathers, instill faith in God in children from their birth.
And even more so, when a child reaches adolescence, and with it puberty, in his life he must be instructed in matters of intimacy and how to keep himself or herself pure before marriage. The apostle Paul became such a counselor for the young minister, giving him the following advice, “Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord.” (2 Tim. 2:22). He did not say that such lusts bypass the children of God, since every human being is made of flesh and blood. But he gave the only recipe that could protect the heart of a young minister – flee. Flee as Joseph did when Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce him. Why? To keep a pure heart unspotted from sin, and to pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Otherwise, you should not ask such questions as, “Why does not God answer my prayers? Can’t He hear me?” According to the above verse, you can call on the Lord with an unclean heart. Then our Christianity looks more like a theatrical performance, and far from a close life with Christ.
It is appalling as to how superficially many church ministers approach such topics today. It comes to the point that the teachings in this area condone permissiveness, compromise with the world. You are promised that you should not be afraid and worried, because God will always forgive and have mercy. Although there is a grain of truth in it that our Lord is long-suffering and merciful, nevertheless, His mercy and grace should not be abused. And those who do not know God personally, but rather are playing religion, abuse God’s grace. The Apostle Paul warns, “For this you know, that no fornicator (sexually immoral: has sex with someone to whom he is not married), unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.” (Ephesians 5:5) If your sexual life is stained with sin, you urgently need to get your relationship right with God. This is serious because now you are on your way to hell. There is no need to listen to those who point to an easy broad path to Heaven. This way is narrow. An easy and permissive way will not bring blessings, but eternal destruction awaits you. Come to Him before it is too late and share with Him the blessed life, which from the moment of your heart’s devotion, becomes everlasting in the Heavenly Kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ.
In conclusion, I want to say that you, young people, need to especially ground your faith on rock. Don’t build on the sand. The area of sexual immorality is quicksand. At first, it seems that this is a beautiful beach, where you can have a good time and have fun until the moment you know that it is mercilessly sucking you into the depths of destruction. And if you do not come to a sober state of mind in time nor cry to the Savior, your end can be not what you expected. It will be too late to change anything. Unfortunately, due to the superficiality of the contemporary sugar-coated gospel and the lack of sound teaching, young people do not know what is allowed and what is not. They are unable to discern between black and white. We are living in a time when everything is mixed in this spiritual Babylon. Let us take the path of truth, put our relationship right with God as parents and ministers, and warn our children about the emotional, physical, and medical consequences of sexual relations outside of marriage. A lot of useful information can be found on the Internet. I will also go into more detail on topics of this nature, the Lord willing, in the future.
Nowadays, a lot of people are suffering because of their rash and hasty decisions and sometimes it seems to them that there is no way out of this dead-end. They become desperate and depressed. They might be thinking, “I want to talk to someone and pray in order to overcome this sin once and for all.” If you are struggling in this area or have unanswered questions and you feel that no one cares about you, ask God to show you who you can share with.
We must become spiritual fathers for those young people in bondage. We cannot be indifferent to their fate.
“Deliver those who are drawn toward death, and hold back those stumbling to the slaughter.” (Proverbs 24:11)
The Lord is your salvation.
Max Volkov in Christ